A Study in Merlot

Hail fellows, well met, greetings, salutations and thank you for attending this study in Merlot, a chronicle of man's passion for excellence, and a compendium of the finest epicurean pursuits in the history of history. As Oscar Wilde observed: "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." As I hope you shall see in these studies, Merlot is certainly not "most people" in Wilde's sense.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

A Study of a Leading South African Boxed Blend, and its Package

Salutations Voignier, and other dear faithful readers. I hope these missives find you in good health and in good spirits; and if the contrary be true, I hope this, my latest study of spirits, will lift yours, after a short jaunt to the wine store for a quick boxed wine solution, if you will. For as Lamech said to Noah of wine as Noah planted vinyards after the flood, it should bring us relief and comfort from our work and the toil of our hands," genesis, chapter 9.

Merlot has long been mindful of the truth in the statement: "a man's reach should be longer than his grasp, that's what a "meta[s]- phore," if you will. While I know that puns are unforgivable in the english language, an exception should be made, as it is fitting for this study in offshore boxed wines. Typically, Merlot limits his observations to on-shore varieties and American boxed wines, however from time to time, Merlot extends his reach, if you will beyond the shores of this most magnificent land to other places, in this case to a county on a continent that was once called, Abyssinia to address what has subsiquently grown from soils once constricted by the most hanis and antiquated political economy of its day, Apartheid. A word to the wiser among you, as you see, Merlot's studies are not without controversy.

I am referring of course to the meteoric growth of the Namaqua boxed wine brand of South Africa. Those of you in the UK will perhaps recognize the brand more readily, as it is the number one selling brand on your merchant's shelves. In gathering facts about Namaqua, Merlot read with interest Johan Schreuder recent conclusion about the brands from Africa's southern tip, home to a small winery that recently made history by actually placing a real South African diamond in each of 50 limited issue vintage bottles of wine in an effort to extend their marketing reach if you will:
'Great wines have the same qualities as the most precious gemstones: they're multi-faceted, complex, opulent in colour and absolutely flawless.' You could call them seamless I suppose".

While this description my go beyond the limits of good taste and fair play that Merlot sets as his standards in the description of boxed wine, along with the hackneyed marketing puffery of words such as "chocolate" and "berry" to describe any wine's flavor, we believe Schreuder's metaphoric reach may be aptly extended to a certain boxed blend we were lucky enough to run across by the name of "Namaqua" boxed wine brand, which, as it turns out, is breaking all sales projections in the United Kingdom.

Merlot lucked upon this brand, if you will, last evening, when a long time, and dear friend visited Merlot at our slip. She, to our surprise, wass wearing not much more than a slip herself, as she entered our vessel, carrying a 3 liter box of Namaqua that she has packed with her luggage on her return from London, where she just finished a three week engagement as a fashion model, and a "fan dancer" in a contemporary and off Broadway production of "Out in Yonkers, Where True Love Conquered", by a popular, if controversial playwrite whose name escaped me the moment I heard it, and which consequently makes it well near impossible to "recall".

With apologies to theater goers, Merlot is not part of those throngs of individuals who find their way to Manhattan's theatre district each night to soak up the latest musings of writers who place him in mind of Australia's ostridge. For like the ostrage, it appears that the current crop of so called, "modern" playwrites are stuck, if you will, with imaginations that run, but do not appear to soar, with appologies to Alexander Pope, of course, for those of you who give a damn. But I digress.


Immediately upon her entering our "boat," as she calls Merlot's magestic home upon the Hudson, Merlot rushed to the high speed broadband connection to "look up" this Namaqua's tree, if you will. The producer, Raisin Social of South Africa, describes its boxed offering as follows: "A crisp, dry, yet refreshingly fruity white wine, brimming over with guava and citrus flavours, which is best appreciated chilled as a delicious drink with food or with friends," which lead Merlot to wonder how popular is guava in South Africa for it to make its way into the puffery one is forced to endure from the producer's marketing wonks in the course of gather information about a particular boxed blend? Putting aside the troubling idea that this product is a "delicious drink with food or with friends" but not both, Merlot looked deeper into the this advertising abyss.

The Guava's origin, is, of course Central American. It's been extended by man and bird throughout the Caribbean Islands, to favorable climates, including the British West Indies, and so it comes as a surprise that a boxed wine producer would us it to buttress it's leading brand, not unlike the surprise one would have discussing the flavor of home grown, Irish Kiwi fruit, one supposes. That being said, with a nod and a wink, one expects the flavor of guava to resonate well with many of the West Indians who migrated to London after World War II and their descendants whose numbers have grown from 135,000 in 1962 to make up a good subset of the more than 20% ethnic minorities who populate the city today, out of the 7.8 million people living there in total. Merlot does not expect that West Indian migrants to London need the flavor of guava described to them, as much as they may need the flavor of the leading South African boxed wine described to them in objective terms, as they survey the shelves of their local wine store, searching for flavor and value.




Nevertheless, in spite of old tricks of the trade, Merlot finally tasted Namaqua, after a good period of time wherein we amused our kind guest by speculating aloud what other ways this boxed wine producer may further describe the product in an effective manner in order to increase sales by reaching out to their target market, if you will. We proposed this modified description to reach the West Indian consumer: "a hint of oleander, mixed with an after taste of a Kingston, traffic jam,"

To our surprise, however, the Namaqua was delightful, a bright blend of approachable flavors far too complex to trivialize with wine jargon if you will.


Merlot extends 4.5 guavas out of 5 to this delightful South African boxed blend, for its light touch and truly remarkable finish.

Merlot's Soap Box: An Aside About Wine Marketing Ploys, Tricks and Schemes, and Perhaps Using the Humble Guava to Sell Soap:

Merlot, as you know is a distinctly American variety of gourmand, unbeholden (when writing this blog, if you will) to the purse strings of producers or the half baked ideas their public relations and marketing toadies unleash on the world, like so many gold plated lilies. After all, what does one do with the South African diamond left over after drinking the wine it was packaged within. Merlot believes diamonds should be bought from diamond dealers, in whose shops or counters the gems can be observed for clarity, cut, carrot and so on. Furthermore, diamonds ought not be bought from wineries, even if the owner of the winery's husband is a leading South African diamond merchant. Thus, Marketing tricks and gimmick have no place in Merlot's studies, nor in the North American Boxed Wine Association, as Voignier will bare witness. However, Merlot is mindful that wine producers have bills to pay, and supposes that these tricks of the trade will not end, as long as they boost purchases by unsuspecting wine buyers. These marketing schemes, like errors in spelling, grammar, style and usage, written in haste, they are small infractions in the grand scheme of things. As a wise man once observed, money makes the mare walk.


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posted by BoxedMerlot @ 11:23 AM  

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