Merlot hits on 16, and sticks on 17 to for greater gains

Greetings Viognier and kind readers,

In spite of rumors that Sir Elton John was marrying a man in Atlanta, GA, our caravan made its way to Mississippi and met with throngs of gamblers in Biloxi, where the Imperial Palace casino reopened and we passed out generous portions of boxed wine in the parking lot. Our researchers were able to mingle quite well in the crowd of gamblers and ask good, pointed questions about the gambler's feelings toward boxed wine. As usual, the aim was to uncover the reptilian brain's deepest disposition toward our excellent boxed wine, and to thereby discover "the code" our target market of wine drinkers carries locked in their hearts and heads with respect to boxed wine. Yes, the task is a difficult and complex as it sounds, which means I and my band of hard working, self sacrificing researchers have our work cut out for us, if you will.

Approaching gamblers as a target group is a new turn for us. Yet, there is a method to our madness. Our aim is to reach potential boxed wine consumers in unguarded moments, appealing to them with simple, direct questions aimed at uncovering their deepest feelings toward drinking, wine, packaging, loss, separation, comfort, stregnth, power, mercy, love, respect, esteem and so forth. At first, our questioning was not up to snuff, as most in our sample were too polite to reveal and register anything that could be viewed as ungrateful or unthankful.

But it was Dr. Emily, who'se advanced education makes appearances at times like these, that suggested we offer wine on the way, and only ask questions about the wine on their way out of the casino, starting out questioning by asking the obvious-- "did you win anything?" The results were smashing, and well beyond a standard deviation's difference. Nobody was more shocked then Dr. Emily and I, when the results began to pour in. Andy, one of our superior polling staff found that among gambling winners, the fact that boxed wine is served from a box made very little difference. Statements such as the following show the general indifference toward brand, or delivery device: "doesn't matter to me", "I don't care", "I'm cool with that", "I'll get over the cork" and "I can live with it".

We were also lucky to have met Jake Wasserstien, a student and devotee of Dr. Robert Moore, a leading psychologist who, according to the reading materials he handed Dr. Emily (who did not gamble today) "specializes in the optimizing of masculine selfhood and leadership. He is the leading expert on contemporary masculine initiation and maturation. Along with Robert Bly, Dr. Moore is widely considered to be a pioneering visionary of the international men's movement." Jake offered his view on boxed wine, and on the crowd behavior toward out researchers, and the free samples. Jake observed how certain "alpha males", as he called them avoided both samples and our questioning on the subject; while other, "less alpha" males appeared to linger longest at the sample tables in direct proportion to their lower status. Jakes comments were welcome, but a bit off the mark, as the data poured in, if you will.

We found a significant increase in negative statements toward the packaging and brand issues among gamblers who admitted to having lost money on a net basis. Statements included: "boxed wine sucks", "boxed wine is for cheapskates", "boxed wine is for broke asses", and "boxed wine is the poor man's buzz". These statements show something ingrained, which appears to be expressed more quickly when subject customers are under stress, guilt, shame, regret and overall remorse. We believe we are one to something, here at the casino.

Tally Ho the fox!

ps. I won $4,494 dollars hitting on 16 and sticking on 17 on the black jack tables, before winning another $2,203 at dice, where we played the 6 and 8 on the coops side of the table, as our staff gathered data.