Mike and Jimmy Discuss the Party in Your Head

Mike woke up this morning and unpacked his TSMC equipment, which Dr. Emily told me amounts to over $500,000 dollars worth of high tech tools used in the practice of technical surveillance counter measures, which is his trade when not overseas, consulting for goverment contractors. Emily explained that Mike mortgaged their parent's house to buy it, making back the entire sum after just 8 months working for his first clients, which included several Congressional staffers, lobbyists, C level executives of public companies, and two union leaders on the East coast. Since then, Mike has provided for Dr. Emily and Sister Ruth with regular "gifts" that have amounted to thousands of dollars per year.

After unpacking it to take inventory, Mike took the time to explain, in an informal way to some of the staff researchers from The Riverside Park and several of our struggling actors (who make up our so called "street teams" that collect opinions from our boxed wine subjects). Without going into details about his clients, Mike explained how he uses his tools and what he does in the course of his work. Jimmy's reaction was amusing. Jimmy, who has proved himself one of our most adept survey proctors, asked Mike a rather point blank question, in his trade mark disarming way, which is how Jimmy often gets answers from boxed wine consumers where others return with incomplete survey data. Jimmy asked Mike if: "all his fancy machines make him the big brother", which lead to a good sized belly laugh from Mike, both for the idea and Jimmy's delivery of the idea.

Mike's reply was sanguine: "no Jim, I'm the guy who keeps the big brother from pickin on the little guy. More often than not, we work to keep big brother from making life a living hell for little brothers". This lead the habitual wise-ass, Albert, to one of his monologues that he often recites in the manner of a waiter-actor auditioning for a customer who's identified himself as a Hollywood producer after eating his eggplant rollatini and before dessert. Once again, Albert started right in, as if on cue:

• "I'll be around in the dark... — I'll be everywhere.
• Wherever you can look; —
• Wherever there's a fight, so hungry people can eat, I'll be there.
  
• Wherever there's a cop beating up a guy, I'll be there.
• I'll be there in the way guys yell when they're mad.
• I'll be there in the way kids laugh when they're hungry, and they know supper's ready, and when people are eatin' the stuff they raised, and livin' in the houses they built, I'll be there, too."

Well, Mike seemd to find this enormously entertaining, revealing that he had not had this much fun since taking "R and R in the PI in 1985", to which Jimmy replied again.

Jimmy said: " well no, I don't know what ya mean Mike, but if it takes all these wires and gizmos just to make sure conversations is private, then maybe you just have to talk like Albert, like you're on stage every minute, like somebody's always watching or listening, as if somebody, somewhere always cares. It's like God, or like Shakespeare said, 'all the world's a stage', right Albert? Remember that Simon and Garfunkel song 'America' (and he began to sing, in perfect pitch, which was easy for Jimmy who had been brought up in one of Harlem's more musical churches):

Laughing on the bus Playing games with the faces
She said the man in the gabardine suit was a spy
I said ’be careful his bowtie is really a camera...
All gone to look for Amer ic a"’ .

Mike replied in deadpan fashion: "well Jimmy, you know, that's good, I didn't realize you are a singer. But ya know, I have a lot of equipment here that can do all sorts of things, but the one thing I can not do for all my training equipment is crash that party goin on in your head buddy, an I think you know what I'm talkin about"

"I do know what you mean Mike", replied Jimmy, "and there's the rub, isn't it, they can't crash the party in your head, can they Mike? I think you really are The Big Brother Mike, you're the big brother everybody wants Mike. With all these Satelite radios, and Lo Jacks, and Microwave ovens nobody understands, you're a good guy to know Mike. Do ya mind if we call ya 'The Big Brotha" Mike?"

Mike replied, "no Jimmy, I don't mind, just don't call me late when you crack open that cask of boxed wine when that Pizza gets here tonight."

"Just remember this Jimmy, there are situations where knowing me won't be a very big help to you. For example, telephone switching systems such as the AT&T 5ESS are often accessed by corporate spies (and hackers) whereupon the control programs (called "translations") are modified to allow calls to be remotely monitored. Such a tap requires only a phone line, and a laptop computer with a modem.

Such access, when gained, is exceedingly difficult to detect or to protect from. In large measure, security is the province of the telephone utility at this level precluding the implementation of outside countermeasures efforts. Security consultants and professionals with valid concerns have found it valuable to establish working relationships with telephone company security professionals where a mutual threat is realized.

Having said that, they still can't crash the party in your head Jimmy"