Returning from Our Argentinian Sabbatical

Our South American Sabbatical was a halogen time for myself and the small support staff I assembled to root out the market potentials for grapes of our Southern neighbors. Argentinian wines offer gigantic potential profits for our Box wine producing sponsors, and it took very little research to establish baselines and economies of scale for them.

Nevertheless, we did miss much of the excitement of seeing America's first president to have African heritage elected to lead us out of the perceived decline that is fueling a massive boom in the Boxed wine markets around the world. Let's wish him luck, even as we enjoy consumer's shifting priorities and increased appreciation for what grapes and boxes have to offer, if you will.

Dr. Emily and a select few marketing research and community organizers made the trip with the kind support of several of the industry's leading producers of Box wines and spirits who took advantage of our unparalleled success developing new products. Unfortunately, what we left in our wake has turned sour in our absence, including out boat slip at the 79th Street Boat Basin. It appears several of our trusted staff regained the taste for the grape, in spite of their diagnosed alcoholism and sober living for several years.

Perhaps the free samples sent from our sponsors were a temptation too great to dash upon the rip rock along the West side drive; or maybe it was in the course of cleanup after the excessive party schedule established to raise money to pay slip fees. I suppose some combination of economics and character failings are at root. Nevertheless, we've had to make some changes at the boat basin, if you will. And the probationary period will not be ending anytime soon, however hard it will be for research and support staff to separate their habits from their new found, or "rediscovered" ideals.

Our first major change upon return was to re establish the nightly Alcoholic Anonymous meetings on the deck (weather permitting), and making them a prerequisite of any and all staff members who choose to remain in our employ.

Secondly, we've ended the use of the boat slip as a nesting ground for "erotic service providers" associates of the staff, offering "in calls", using Craigslist.

Thirdly, we have banned all fireworks, bon fires, and firearm sales.

Fourth, the boat can not longer be rented out for use as a studio for erotic film makers, or as a place for "investors" in such activities meet and discuss their business opportunities.

Sixth, all futons have been removed and carried to The Riverside Park for disposal, which should help to eliminate the bed bug problem.

Seventh, the hard drive of the desktop was cleaned of all "unrelated business", including but no limited to use as a Spam server for penis enhancement pills, gambling, pornography, and as an Kidney exchange bidding site. Our trusted assistant has reverted to his unique, if corrupt skill set that brought him to our doorstep so many years ago.

Eighth, bear knuckle fighting and amateur boxing matches are banned, no matter what famous persons agree to take part, or whether they are merely the subtext for homosexual bonding events, or to raise money for charitable cases.

And Finally, Sister Ruth is to be placed on a 6 month probation, and not permitted to enter the boat slip.

All this to say, there really is not rest for the weary or the wicked for that matter.

Good day!