A Study in Merlot

Hail fellows, well met, greetings, salutations and thank you for attending this study in Merlot, a chronicle of man's passion for excellence, and a compendium of the finest epicurean pursuits in the history of history. As Oscar Wilde observed: "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." As I hope you shall see in these studies, Merlot is certainly not "most people" in Wilde's sense.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Another Proffer from a Man with Two First Names

Yesterday, we were offered massive, CEO level wealth for making a simple phone call. Our new friend wrote us, as follows:

DEAR FRIEND,

HOW ARE YOU TODAY HOPE OK, PLEASE COOPERATE WITH ME TO RECEIVE THIS FUND 30 MILLION GREAT BRITISH POUNDS INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, IS RISK FREE AND LEGAL.

I WAIT YOUR URGENT REPLY FOR MORE DETAILS.
HERE IS MY CELL PHONE NUMBER +234-8035-80-2472, YOU CAN CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY IF YOU WONT MIND.

THANKS

DR CHARLES V. JAMES.


HEADERS>>>
Received: from web19 ([68.168.75.45]) by mta9.adelphia.net
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Thu, 18 Jan 2007 06:05:58 -0500
Message-ID: <25221442.1169118358742.JavaMail.root@web19>
Date: Thu, 18 Jan 2007 3:05:58 -0800
From: "DR CHARLES V. JAMES"
Reply-To: charlesjames0009@yahoo.com.hk
Subject: 30 MILLION POUNDS TRANSFER INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT
PLEASE COOPERATE WITH ME.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Sister Ruth's Winter Solstice and Brotha Mike's Break


Greetings Kind Readers, and Best wishes for this New Year of two thousand and seven,


Sister Ruth has come to visit us as we set sail this holiday season, with her children from Austen, Riggs on Norman Rockwell's Main Street in Stockbridge, MA. Unfortunately, the man who picked her and the children up hitchhiking on Interstate 84 ran out of gas, which meant several hours wait at a truck stop before she was able to simply call for Dr. Emily to pick her up with the Red Blazer, after Ruth's overcoming her anger, pride, residual resentments, born in childhood and cradled in the heart ever since, as well as the "white lightening", or grain alcohol that Pete (the driver) had brought with him from his trip down from New Hampshire. Apparently, after learning that he had some, Ruth encouraged Pete to pull into a rest stop for a small "break" which included a drinking game the focused on the characters in popular television shows from the 1950's and 60s, as the children walked Spark, the new dog Ruth had been awarded for her progress at Riggs. This all meant additional time for "rest" as Pete sobered up enough to drive, and the children were convinced enough to return his keys to Ruth, who resolved to do the driving. By then, the gas had run out of Pete's Pacer, with the nearest station several miles away.


The next leg of Ruth's adventure seems to involved a semi driver who was good natured enough to hear her out and offer a ride, that is until she was caught "borrowing" a rare Allman Brother's recording from his disk player. The trucker, "a man of principal", as he put it, called the highway authorities, who subjected Ruth to a long interview which turned into more of an interrogation, based on the records that had apparently turned up in their computer search of her name and address. When Ruth refused to speak to the patrol, and when spoken to, would only hum the theme to the 70s television show, The A Team, she was taken to the closest police station, where her ordeal worsened. Once at the station, Ruth apparently found, took, unwrapped and ate 4 cheese burgers, with french fries, and 2 large sodas that she discovered on the desk of one of the patrolmen, where she was seated, while they were discussing her circumstances in a nearby closed office with their superior. This made the patrol, and their captain enraged, since their mealtimes are limited.


All this in turn lead to her being appointed a lawyer, and ultimately to an intervention by one of Ruth's attending counselors at Riggs, who Ruth calls "Wendy Wellesley," perhaps having learned something about her counselor's background. Apparently, Wendy was able to explain and account for some of Ruth's offbeat behavior patters to the satisfaction of the highway patrol, who insisted on being paid for their misappropreated meal.






The acrimony between Ruth and Dr. Emily has lasted several days now as we've set sail, south along the intercoastal, and it appears that the capable staff at Riggs Foundation will have their work cut out for them upon Sister Ruth's returns there with her children to continue her "examined living" as she Mike and Dr. Emily put it. It's as if Ruth blames Dr. Emily in some way for both the chaos in Ruth's life, and perhaps the lack of Chaos in Emily's. Sibling rivalry is perhaps a fixture of every family's holiday, but whenever Ruth makes it back to the 79th Street Boat Basin to celebrate, it's seems never more pronounced.


Brother Mike has also returned for Christmas from a protracted assignment with Dietl & Associates. The psychodramatic festival has hardly been a welcome homecoming for Mike, and the overall level of boxed wine consumption is 14 percent greater than last year according to Dr. Wu's books. Mike has made the most of his time showing the children the finer points of the pick and roll as it is used in several sports, including Lacrosse, which he has chosen to fully equip the children to master upon their return to Riggs with their mother. Mike has been reviewing various prep school options for the children as they approach an age when they must ready themselves for college.


New Years came and left like the tide, as we have made our way, adrift, down the East coast toward America's southern cities. And the flow of wine, did indeed match the tides.



Looking ahead, this week, we'll be attending a packaging industry gathering in New Orleans, hosted by a public interest group that is trying to raise awareness about recycling features of boxed wine, and the benefits of bottled delivery methods. We will present a different voice on the subject, as has been requested by several of our sponsors. Dr. Emily and I have been hard at work gathering, sorting and reviewing data to support the use of boxed pacakaging over bottled wine distribution. Stay tuned.