A Remarketable New Service for Unboxed Wine Lovers
Greetings Voignier,
A word to the wise should suffice, nevertheless:
I hope this communication in the wake of "Black Friday" finds you as well as we here at The Boxed Wine Association of North America and Parts of Chile, along with our band of elfs whom we are glad to call our associates. Last night was eventful, as the holidays brought a new spirit of consumption to Manhattan's restaurants, bistros and lounges, which we can confirm with actual data (numbers and varieties of empty wine bottles gathered by our research staff in the course of their overnight shift). As you may know, our staff is paid per bottle (or lable for those who carry their lable removal tools), which has amounted to a bounty, as records numbers of bottles were recovered from the Thanksgiving holiday period.
Our report will not be finished until next week, but I am sure our sponsers will be delighted by this latest numbers crunch. We are simply jassed to report, that's to Dr. Emily's grant writing skills, we have added two new wine industry supporters for our research. Each has pledged to support our winter sebatical to Florida and points south. We have a committed band of researchers who will be sailing with us this year, and gathering data from the dumpsters of some of Miami's finer restaurants over the winter months, as well as various other watering holes for the rich and famous below the horse lattitudes, if you will.
I was busy last night while waiting for the bounty of empty wine bottles that is our raw data to come in early AM, and to be processed by my invaluable assistant, who Sister Ruth (using that glut of irony with which she approaches every task in her world, has taken to call my "Dr. Wu"). As I surfed the web for football scores, and currency exchange rates, I ran across a new tool for boxed and unboxed wine lovers alike. The website, called Vintrust.com, is a new company with the following laudable, if ambitious goal:
Of course, we are left wondering how they can deliver on such a promise without consulting us, but that is yet another story. For the best minds in this industry all call upon us for our point of view. Nevertheless, this Vintrust.com site allows wine lovers to create an online inventory and manage their wine collection using some of the leading edge tools available, including bar coding and scanners to help one quickly manipulate the data that is associated with their liquid properties. Frankly, these tools excite us. We often have an oversupply of unboxed wines with which we are paid by our supporters in various barter transactions which aim to keep our research staff well positioned to conduct their nightly work.
Vintrust.com also includes a wine exchange if you will, were buyers and sellers can meet and swap information, bids and offers in their comfort of their own homes. We are delighted to see this kind of thing; and hope to make use of it as several of our supports pay us with premium blends, which we seek to "monitize" from time to time, and thereby trade down to the boxed wines that our employees tend to favor, while pocketing the difference, which typically pays for our staff meals and more. Vintrust.com will certainly a welcome innovation, if it can help us to turn some of these unboxed batered bottles into spendable cash with which we can grow and expand our data gathering and boxed wine business intellegence efforts.
A word to the wise should suffice, nevertheless:
When Black Friday comes
I'll stand down by the door
And catch the grey men when they
Dive from the fourteenth floor
When Black Friday comes
I'll collect everything I'm owed
And before my friends find out
I'll be on the road
When Black Friday falls you know it's got to be
Don't let it fall on meWhen Black Friday comes
I'll fly down to Muswellbrook
Gonna strike all the big red words
From my little black book
Gonna do just what I please
Gonna wear no socks and shoes
With nothing to do but feed
All the kangaroos
When Black Friday comes I'll be on that hill
You know I willWhen Black Friday comes
I'm gonna dig myself a hole
Gonna lay down in it 'til
I satisfy my soul
Gonna let the world pass by me
The Archbishop's gonna sanctify me
And if he don't come across
I'm gonna let it roll
When Black Friday comes
I'm gonna stake my claim
I'll guess I'll change my name
I hope this communication in the wake of "Black Friday" finds you as well as we here at The Boxed Wine Association of North America and Parts of Chile, along with our band of elfs whom we are glad to call our associates. Last night was eventful, as the holidays brought a new spirit of consumption to Manhattan's restaurants, bistros and lounges, which we can confirm with actual data (numbers and varieties of empty wine bottles gathered by our research staff in the course of their overnight shift). As you may know, our staff is paid per bottle (or lable for those who carry their lable removal tools), which has amounted to a bounty, as records numbers of bottles were recovered from the Thanksgiving holiday period.
Our report will not be finished until next week, but I am sure our sponsers will be delighted by this latest numbers crunch. We are simply jassed to report, that's to Dr. Emily's grant writing skills, we have added two new wine industry supporters for our research. Each has pledged to support our winter sebatical to Florida and points south. We have a committed band of researchers who will be sailing with us this year, and gathering data from the dumpsters of some of Miami's finer restaurants over the winter months, as well as various other watering holes for the rich and famous below the horse lattitudes, if you will.
I was busy last night while waiting for the bounty of empty wine bottles that is our raw data to come in early AM, and to be processed by my invaluable assistant, who Sister Ruth (using that glut of irony with which she approaches every task in her world, has taken to call my "Dr. Wu"). As I surfed the web for football scores, and currency exchange rates, I ran across a new tool for boxed and unboxed wine lovers alike. The website, called Vintrust.com, is a new company with the following laudable, if ambitious goal:
Through the integration of technology, exceptional service and the best wine minds in the industry, we work to bring you an unparalleled resource for managing, cellaring, buying, selling and enjoying your wine.
Of course, we are left wondering how they can deliver on such a promise without consulting us, but that is yet another story. For the best minds in this industry all call upon us for our point of view. Nevertheless, this Vintrust.com site allows wine lovers to create an online inventory and manage their wine collection using some of the leading edge tools available, including bar coding and scanners to help one quickly manipulate the data that is associated with their liquid properties. Frankly, these tools excite us. We often have an oversupply of unboxed wines with which we are paid by our supporters in various barter transactions which aim to keep our research staff well positioned to conduct their nightly work.
Vintrust.com also includes a wine exchange if you will, were buyers and sellers can meet and swap information, bids and offers in their comfort of their own homes. We are delighted to see this kind of thing; and hope to make use of it as several of our supports pay us with premium blends, which we seek to "monitize" from time to time, and thereby trade down to the boxed wines that our employees tend to favor, while pocketing the difference, which typically pays for our staff meals and more. Vintrust.com will certainly a welcome innovation, if it can help us to turn some of these unboxed batered bottles into spendable cash with which we can grow and expand our data gathering and boxed wine business intellegence efforts.
posted by BoxedMerlot @ 12:37 PM
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