Dear Merlot

Dear Merlot,

You seem like an smart man, if a little too trusting. I have a question for you.

 

My 12 year old beats our dog, wets his bed and last week started a fire near our propane gas tank to burn his math books.  What should I do?

 

Yours in confusion,

Mark Taylor

 

 

Dear Mark,

The follow warning signs indicate that a child will be highly predisposed to violence later in life:

• Abuse of Animals
• Bed Wetting, and
• Starting Fires

 

These corrolations are not as certain as the sun rising, but I really must insist that you seek professional help. And what's more, you should not be ashamed or embarrassed in any way to seek the assistance of a professional in this case. These behaviors are more than even the most quailfied parents would be able to handle on their own.

 

Having said so, my very dear friend and associate in the Boxed Wine Association, Dr. Micheal Hunter, may be able to offer you sage advice, as he does on a regular basis to many of our more behaviorally challenged, if you will, here at the boat basin.  Dr. Hunter hosts AA meetings at the basin 2 times per week, and you may contact him directly there on the shores of the mighty Hudson.

 

 

 

Regards,

Merlot