Dr. Michael Hunter Helps Merlot with Sister Ruth

Greetings Voignier and kind readers,

Is has been some time since our rift with Dr. Emily erupted into a full scale war of attrition, so to speak, here at the Boat Basin. As you will recall, we hired the most excellent Mr. Ito to help us dispose of our empty boxed wine casks, which have grown considerable, the result of our almost nightly boxed wine tastings here at the Boat Basin. You will recall further, that Dr. Emily has affiliated herself with our neighbors, Mort and a certain retired national talk show host with enough time and money on his hands to make trouble for our enterprise here at the basin, and who has some of the leading public figures in the world visit his watercraft for dinner and drinks, many of whom wind up on our deck in the course of our wine tastings.

While our interpersonal progress has been considerable from those low points, when Dr. Emily sat with our neighbors, turning a blind eye and laughing like a horse at Mort's aging charm and the joshing of the Basin's resident Silver Fox. It was the first time in 10 years Dr. Emily has not prepared coffee and continental breakfast for our tired and hungry network of marketing researchers who sort and gather empty bottles and boxes from New York's Upper West side apartment building dumpsters each night and early morning.

Since that time, we have had several conflicts with Dr. Emily, including an outright physical fight between Dr. Emily's visiting younger Sister Ruth, and Mr. Ito, who for his part employed his advanced Judo training to subdue her on the ground until authorities arrived. "Sister Ruth" apparently insists on being called just that, Sister Ruth, as she is quick to explained her affiliation with a rather obscure new age church that operated in San Francisco's Mission district, until its lease was bought out at the height of the tech bubble. Curious, we Googled "Sister Ruth", only to find a somewhat telling description that appears to be written by people of good conscious to have dealt with this Sister Ruth.

Now, we can hardly blame her sister's (Sister) very short fuse and bad temperament on Dr. Emily, who has herself overcome an extraordinary early life marred with abuse and mistreatment at the hands of her alcoholic mother (who was an actress and more often a sex worker), and her compulsive gambling, physically abusive father (an ex Boxer and bar owner in what is now New York's "Clinton" neighborhood, which was then known as "Hells Kitchen") Hells Kitchen was renamed after the election of Bill Clinton, perhaps our nation's most opportunistic president. By most accounts, New York's real estate community agreed that a name change for Hell Kitchen, or "The Kitchen" as locals called it, would allow them to charge rents that are more inline with the rest of Manhattan, in spite of "Clinton's" storied past of drug dealing corruption, street crime and general unbound violence.) The result, like Clinton's presidential effort, has ment higher rents for equal and in many cases declining value.

Since her arrival, Sister Ruth's visit has turned into an extended stay, if you will. She has staked out herself sleeping quarters in a tent, with Rusty, one of our most talented marketing researchers, who apart from living the sporting life in The Riverside Park, using a 4 man tent, manages to drive and retrieve 200 golfball per day into the Hudson River, using the dingy of our might watercraft. While Sister Ruth has made it difficult for us, she has proved herself an albatross for Mr. Ito, who has done his job with impeccable attention to detail, organization and good faith in spite of the working conditions presented by Ruth's campaign to defame and discourage the most excellent Mr. Ito.

Our theory of the case is that Ruth would like the money we pay Mr. Ito for herself and her two children, who up until recently lived as wards of the state of California, where they have proved to be exceptional students in math and science. Since then, they have been sleeping with us in our watercraft, as Rusty's tent does not provide enough room for the children to spread out and do their "problem sets", as they call their math and science homework, of which they are 3 months ahead of their school's paced ciriculum. For their part, the children appear to be able to thrive wherever they are planted long enough to crack their books, in spite of the Ruth's erratic and at times violent behavor.

The children's father also provides an odd counterpoint to their stay at the Basin. Apparently, their father is an actuary with one of the world's leading insurance carriers. We have never met because he is not permitted to drive his car close enough as to be visible from the Basin. Ruth's rather strict and rigid instructions are that he not set foot in the Basin, or drive anywhere near, but rather, he must park his car on Riverside Drive, near the basin, and blow the horn until contacted via his cellphone.

In short, Ruth has made our life and business here at the Basin most intolerable. Mr. Ito and I have been at a loss, as Ruth's behavior has disrupted out Boxed Wine tastings more than once. In point of fact, when she is under the influence of Boxed Wine, Ruth is one of the most angry persons I have ever met. So far, she has assaulted no fewer than 5 guest to our watercraft, each time being subdued by Mr. Ito's most excellent advance martial arts skill.

Consiquently we consulted with Dr. Michael Hunter, who is a group leader at the Basin for those who admit to being "powerless over alcohol" twice per week. He is also something of a life coach, who has done fantastic work with almost everyone who has approached him for advice and good counsel.

Dr. Hunter, for his part has asked us to provide all the information we have about Ruth, her family and her birth family, which we did. I explained what I had been told by Dr. Emily when we questioned her about Ruth's odd activities. Dr. Emily's apology was heartfelt, as she described her childhood with her mother and Ruth. Apparently, Dr. Emily was "in charge of the money" as her mother operated a small scale brothel above her father's bar. Dr. Emily was apparently something of a designated driver, who never took drink, and who not only collected customer's money (with the help of her uncle "Jimmy Duces", who was a well known local street tuff in "the Kitchen"), while her mother provided most of the service of the operation, if you will. Ruth's part was even more wretched, as she was forced to act as what's called a "fluffer" for the more inebriated clientle, who were typically VIP's and Policemen. As she grew, she grew to resent the part she was to play in this unholy household, and she grew voilent to the point where she was "fired" from the operation, and took to the road. After moving in as "housekeeper" to a formal Federal Proscutor of doubious character, Ruth enrolled in City College where she studied a variety of majors before transferring to University of California where worked part time in the sex industry, meeting many of the leading figures who unionized the trade there and lead to the Exotic Dancer's Union, an affiliate of Service Employees Interntaional Union, AFL-CIO Local 790. Several years into her advanced degree and shift work at the Lusty Lady, and as a business owner of with interests in several private clubs, she met her ex-husband, a Stanford Business school graduate with a bright future, Herb Henderson.

After marrying Herb, Ruth "swore off her whorin ways" as Dr. Emily put it in a half joking way. That is when Ruth began religious traning that would lead her to leave her husband, give up her children, return to her trade, and become Sister Ruth.

After laying out the facts for Dr. Michael, as we were told them, he took the time to research the issues we had revealed in our telling. Dr. Michael later forwarded us the following notes that may offer insight into Ruth's rather disruptive behavior. Dr. Hunter pointed out that we should keep a sharp eye for the following warning signs they suggest patterns that are not uncommon between certain divorced families

Dear Merlot;

It is my opinion that seldom does the leopard change its' spots, and so it may be the case with the case of Sister Ruth. While we can not be certain that Sister Ruth will not change her ways; we can be reaonably sure that the children may be helped with modest effort to protect their emotional space, and so, our focus should be on pulling the baby from the well, first and foremost.


After extensive research, I believe I have isolated a possible diagnostic tool to place the current situation within a framework that can address the more troubling aspects of these children's lives with Sister Ruth. Sister Ruth presents a kind of Hurricane in their lives, threatening to dismantle whatever they sense of self and understanding they are able to find or build within themselves at any time her emotional state leads her astray.


Obviously, you and Dr. Emily are in a position to enable and continue Sister Ruth's wild ride in many respects. A job that pays her enough to stay among your researchers at the Basin will certainly keep her, and more importantly the children stuck in a place that may not be in their best interest. In light of Sister Ruth's appoach to her husband, the children's father, moving the children from the Basin may be even more vital to their emotional well being than would otherwise be the case.


In short, based on the following risk factors, I think the children are at risk for Parental Alienation Syndrome, a disorder of the mind, heart and soul which I believe Sister Ruth herself exhibits. Furthermore, I believe you and Dr. Emily should attempt to lobby and make every effort through your influence with Sister Ruth to place the children with their father, who appears to be a stablizing force, using the courts if necessary:

Gardner (1987) is credited as being the first to coin the term "parental alienation syndrome", although Stahl (1999) suggests that the rudiments of this family process were reported originally by Wallerstein and Kelly (1976; 1980) when they discussed the alignment process in divorcing families. Others picked up the study of this issue by examining the nature of high conflict divorce, with Johnston and her colleagues offering useful insight into this dynamic (Johnston, 1989; 1993; Johnston & Campbell, 1988). Gardner sought to formalize the model into a working diagnosis and labeled the process as parental alienation syndrome with eight specific criteria. These include features deemed common in children with moderate to severe PAS. According to Gardner, the evaluator will observe:

1. A campaign of denigration
2. Weak, absurd, or frivolous rationalizations for the deprecation
3. Lack of ambivalence
4. The "independent-thinker" phenomenon
5. Reflexive support of the alienating parent in the parental conflict
6. Absence of guilt over cruelty to and/or exploitation of the alienated parent
7. The presence of borrowed scenarios
8. Spread of animosity to the friends and/or extended family of the alienated parent.

As Gardner notes, children "who suffer from PAS will exhibit most (if not all) of these symptoms. This is almost uniformly the case of the moderate and severe types...[although] in the mild cases one might not see all eight symptoms."

The following factor is certainly in evidence based what I have been told by more than one boat owners at the Basin, who have been objecting to Herb's horn blowing early on Sunday mornings since Sister Ruth as arrived.

"A common maneuver is to require the visiting father to park his car in front of the house and blow the horn when he arrives. He is not permitted to come to the doorstep, let alone, ring the bell. Although not stated, the implication here is that this very act might somehow contaminate the whole household (Gardner, 1987, p.86)."

The risks to these children psycho-social development are nothing short of grave, and you and Dr. Emily must come together to address this situation with Sister Ruth without delay. Following the children's removal, I would also strongly urge Sister Ruth to begin treatment, not only for her substance abuse, which I know we have not discussed but which I have been informed about by various recovering participants in my groups at the basin. The risk to the children, and the result of Sister Ruth's life can be understood within the following framework:

Stahl (1999) reports that the children who are most susceptible to alienation are the more passive and dependent children, or the children who feel a strong need to psychologically care for the alienating parent. The child and alienating parent share a sense of moral outrage and there is a fusion of feelings between them.... Long-term effects of alienation left unchecked may lead to various pathological symptoms, which include but are not limited to:

• splitting in their relationships
• difficulties in forming intimate relationships
• a lack of ability to tolerate anger or hostility in relationships
• psychosomatic symptoms and sleep or eating disorders
• psychological vulnerability and dependency
• conflicts with authority figures
• and, an unhealthy sense of entitlement for one's rage that leads to social alienation in general.

Of course, the causes of alientation are more complex than I've outlined, and other factors can worsen the situation, including the following; however, I believe these are not in evidence at the present time, but we should remain alert to their showing up like the proverbial bad penny:



Finally, there is the position of the alienated child, who may strongly resist visitation or contact with the other parent, and who will express their rejection of that parent with some strident and strong sentiments, and without guilt or empathy for the other's parent's feelings. This is a pathological response that emerges in the absence of realistic factors as noted in the case of the estranged child. It is only this level that may resemble some of the Gardner PAS or PA descriptions. Even then, Kelly and Johnston note several other factors other than an alienating parent that may account for the observed alienation in the child. These include systemic factors (child triangulated in intense marital conflict; separation experienced as humiliation; impact of high-conflict litigious divorce; contributions of new partners, extended family, and professionals), behaviors of the rejecting parent that contribute to alienation (passivity and withdrawal; counter-rejection of the child; harsh and rigid parenting style; critical and demanding traits; immature and self-centered behavior; diminished empathy for the aligned child), and developmental stage vulnerabilities within the child (child's age and cognitive complexity; child feels abandoned and rejected; temperament and personality factors).

In short Merlot, you have the uneviable task of sorting out a real mess in Sister Ruth's extended stay at the basin. I would be happy to help you in any way I can, including organizing one or more interventions to bring these and other issues to a head for Sister Ruth.


Your's truly,
Dr. Michael Hunter Visiting Professor of Psychiatric Medicine
New York University




This Voignier is most promising news, for it means we have clinical backing to force the issue with Dr. Emily to face the facts of our dire situation at the Boat Basin, and we shall no longer remain, like the donkey, tied to the post of our misfortune, waiting for our South African benefactors to pull us out of the well, if you will indulge my mixed metaphors. It is we who must pull Sister Ruth's babies out of the well, like The Catcher in the Rye, making a difference for the next generation, as we make Mr. Ito's job orders of magnitudes easier. After all, we do not pay Mr. Ito for his advanced Judo skill, which I fear we shall not be able to afford based on the amount of trouble Sister Ruth is generating at our boxed wine tasting events here on the banks of the Hudson.