Greetings Voignier,

Since our last transmission, Sister Ruth showed up to visit with Dr. Emily and her brother who have been hard at work setting up a our latest marketing study. It has caused a bit of a delay, as Ruth, Dr. Emily and out Big Brotha, if you will, have spent a lot of time catching up, and sorting out family business. Ruth, it appears has just returned from a retreat, which was intended to provide her with rest, and relaxation. Rest and relaxation appear to have fled Ruth from the first day of her arrival, when she was reunited with her siblings, who where nonetheless happy to see her, in spite of her sharp words.

Mike, for his part, had been training our staff to generate samples of ambient and spontaneous declarations by our subjects toward the products that we are offering for sample. Many of our best staff researchers have been taking to his training like ducks in water.

Much of the training amounts to placing microphones in the right places, and imparting to the staff the importance of directing their subjects to speak toward the devices, in ways that are not too obvious. Mike has not spoken with his sister Ruth, since his last post overseas, as a private contractor, working as a communications consultant to certain governmental and non-governmental agencies in Middle eastern countries, where conflict makes getting the messages right means the difference between life and death.

Dr. Emily, for her part, has been writing grant proposals for our studies of boxed wine market forces and the impact of certain stimuli on motivation and the mind of the consumer. She has also been meeting with certain university administrators to discuss our work in what's left of The Big Easy. Colleges appear less eager than ever to support the kind of product we are studying in boxed blends, which has made her job more difficult than we anticipated. Convincing officials that in vino es ver etas, where wine is not necessarily viewed as just the right medicine to heal the gulf coast's maladies. Ruth's arrival was quite a suprise to both Mike and Dr. Emily, but in Emily's case, perhaps more. It was Emily's impression that Sister Ruth was to spend several more months on retreat, if you will. It appears that in all his complicated travels, Mike had missed a few payments to Ruth's hosts, which cut short her retreat by several months.

Ruth, for her part, was accompanied by an older gent, who we were introduced as friends from a new organization she had joined since leaving the host organization Mike had been paying as regularly as sunshine, since leaving the US. The organization of course was a popular quasi-religious organization known for merchandizing books on psychology, written by it's founder, a highly successful Science fiction writer.

419: Another Winning Email!

Voignier,
It looks like fortune as smiled once again this week. Mr. Willeee's email has arrived, informing us that we have another 1.5 million dollars to count, this the result of our unwitting participation in a "European Prize" lottery.

Life is indeed sweet, old friend.

EUROPEAN PRIZE AWARD DEPT. REF: EL3/9318/04 BATCH: 8/163/EL.

Dear Sir/Madam We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Lottery Winners International programs held on the20/10/2005. Youre-mail address attached to ticketnumber :EL-23133 with serial number:EL-123542,batchnumber: EL- 35,lottery ref number: EL-9318 and drewlucky numbers: 7-1-8-36-4-22 which consequently won in the 1st category, you have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of $1,500,000.00 (One Million,Five Hundred Thousand Dollars) $1,500,000.00 (One Million,Five Hundred Thousand Dollars) CONGRATULATIONS!!! Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep your winning information confidential until your claims has been processed and your money Remitted to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants. Allparticipants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from over 40,000 company and 20,000,000 individual email addresses and names from all over the world. This promotional program takes place every year. This lottery was promoted and sponsored by a group of successful electronic dealers. we hope with part of your winning, you will take part in our next year US$20 million international lottery.

To file for your claim, please contact our paying officer: Contact Person: Williams Smith (Lottery Director) Direct Numbers; +447023051913 Email: willieee2005@yahoo.com

Remember, all winning must be claimed not later than 31th of march, 2006.After this date all unclaimed funds will be included in the next stake. Please note in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications please remember to quote your reference number and batch numbers in all correspondence. Furthermore, should there be any change of address do inform our agent as soon as possible. Congratulations once more from our members of staff and thank you for being part of our promotional program. Note: Anybody under the age of 18 is automatically disqualified. Yours Sincerely, Mrs.Betje Ejnar, For Management.

Dr. Frank Owusu's Appeal for Great Gains

Greetings Voignier and Kind Remote Monitors,

Smashing news! We have another investor, this time from Liberia, who has contacted us for help and to share the rewards of his most excellent common scheme and plan. Please see below. I suggest we take all our money out of Eagle Shipping (symbol: EGLE), and leave behind the 17% yield for the following sure fire measured plan for greater gains.


Dear Friend

My name is DR Frank Owusu. the Financial Controller of the former Liberian President MR.CHARLES TAYLOR. Before he left office, he instructed me, Being his financial controller to look for a capable hand (some one) who Will invest his money one billion USD In a period of twenty years, the trustee of the money will have 10% of It and the interest will be shared fifty/fifty. The contract can be Renewed after twenty years till the problem of Mr. President will be over. So if you are prepared to work with Mr. President invest his money, Pease contact me immediately for more details. For your information we Also have a Diamond secured in a very big quantity Please kindly reply if you want to work and do business with us via This email frankowusu11@yahoo.com But Now am in Ghana.God bless you.

Thanks
Dr. Frank Owusu.

Mike and Jimmy Discuss the Party in Your Head

Mike woke up this morning and unpacked his TSMC equipment, which Dr. Emily told me amounts to over $500,000 dollars worth of high tech tools used in the practice of technical surveillance counter measures, which is his trade when not overseas, consulting for goverment contractors. Emily explained that Mike mortgaged their parent's house to buy it, making back the entire sum after just 8 months working for his first clients, which included several Congressional staffers, lobbyists, C level executives of public companies, and two union leaders on the East coast. Since then, Mike has provided for Dr. Emily and Sister Ruth with regular "gifts" that have amounted to thousands of dollars per year.

After unpacking it to take inventory, Mike took the time to explain, in an informal way to some of the staff researchers from The Riverside Park and several of our struggling actors (who make up our so called "street teams" that collect opinions from our boxed wine subjects). Without going into details about his clients, Mike explained how he uses his tools and what he does in the course of his work. Jimmy's reaction was amusing. Jimmy, who has proved himself one of our most adept survey proctors, asked Mike a rather point blank question, in his trade mark disarming way, which is how Jimmy often gets answers from boxed wine consumers where others return with incomplete survey data. Jimmy asked Mike if: "all his fancy machines make him the big brother", which lead to a good sized belly laugh from Mike, both for the idea and Jimmy's delivery of the idea.

Mike's reply was sanguine: "no Jim, I'm the guy who keeps the big brother from pickin on the little guy. More often than not, we work to keep big brother from making life a living hell for little brothers". This lead the habitual wise-ass, Albert, to one of his monologues that he often recites in the manner of a waiter-actor auditioning for a customer who's identified himself as a Hollywood producer after eating his eggplant rollatini and before dessert. Once again, Albert started right in, as if on cue:

• "I'll be around in the dark... — I'll be everywhere.
• Wherever you can look; —
• Wherever there's a fight, so hungry people can eat, I'll be there.
  
• Wherever there's a cop beating up a guy, I'll be there.
• I'll be there in the way guys yell when they're mad.
• I'll be there in the way kids laugh when they're hungry, and they know supper's ready, and when people are eatin' the stuff they raised, and livin' in the houses they built, I'll be there, too."

Well, Mike seemd to find this enormously entertaining, revealing that he had not had this much fun since taking "R and R in the PI in 1985", to which Jimmy replied again.

Jimmy said: " well no, I don't know what ya mean Mike, but if it takes all these wires and gizmos just to make sure conversations is private, then maybe you just have to talk like Albert, like you're on stage every minute, like somebody's always watching or listening, as if somebody, somewhere always cares. It's like God, or like Shakespeare said, 'all the world's a stage', right Albert? Remember that Simon and Garfunkel song 'America' (and he began to sing, in perfect pitch, which was easy for Jimmy who had been brought up in one of Harlem's more musical churches):

Laughing on the bus Playing games with the faces
She said the man in the gabardine suit was a spy
I said ’be careful his bowtie is really a camera...
All gone to look for Amer ic a"’ .

Mike replied in deadpan fashion: "well Jimmy, you know, that's good, I didn't realize you are a singer. But ya know, I have a lot of equipment here that can do all sorts of things, but the one thing I can not do for all my training equipment is crash that party goin on in your head buddy, an I think you know what I'm talkin about"

"I do know what you mean Mike", replied Jimmy, "and there's the rub, isn't it, they can't crash the party in your head, can they Mike? I think you really are The Big Brother Mike, you're the big brother everybody wants Mike. With all these Satelite radios, and Lo Jacks, and Microwave ovens nobody understands, you're a good guy to know Mike. Do ya mind if we call ya 'The Big Brotha" Mike?"

Mike replied, "no Jimmy, I don't mind, just don't call me late when you crack open that cask of boxed wine when that Pizza gets here tonight."

"Just remember this Jimmy, there are situations where knowing me won't be a very big help to you. For example, telephone switching systems such as the AT&T 5ESS are often accessed by corporate spies (and hackers) whereupon the control programs (called "translations") are modified to allow calls to be remotely monitored. Such a tap requires only a phone line, and a laptop computer with a modem.

Such access, when gained, is exceedingly difficult to detect or to protect from. In large measure, security is the province of the telephone utility at this level precluding the implementation of outside countermeasures efforts. Security consultants and professionals with valid concerns have found it valuable to establish working relationships with telephone company security professionals where a mutual threat is realized.

Having said that, they still can't crash the party in your head Jimmy"

Dr. Emily's Brother Offers a Helping Hand

Dr. Emily's older brother has joined our party to help our investigation into boxed wine consumption, and the underlying motivating factors a play among North American consumers. Dr. Emily's brother has recently returned from Turkey, were he has been employed by a government contractor as a communications expert. Mike, who'se been in the middle east for the past 2 years came to visit his sister while awaiting his deployment to another post within the middle eastern theater, if you will.

Mike was drawn to our project when Dr. Emily emailed him of the plough's progress here in New Orlean, as we host routine tastings and gather feedback from the tourist drawn here by recent events. Mike has proved himself to be a valuable asset, making suggestions and offering feedback as to the merits of our methodologies. He is a bright fellow, and a welcome addition to our team, who promises to help us explore way we might "automate" our data collection process with respect to exit polls and debriefings in the wake of our boxed wine sampling events.

Mike, who as a veterian of the US Navy and various experiences where he focused on fiber optic communications moved to the private sector several years ago before striking out on his own as a consultant offering Technical Surveillance Counter Measures. Needless to say, Mike is accustomed to earning more in a single day than we pay most of our researchers in a month, has shown himself to be good natured about the nature of our rather liquid paydays, if you will, which amount to more boxed wine sampling than cash in hand.

Most of our staff who are here from The Riverside Park have really taken to Mike, as he has offered direction in survey efforts and in setting up housing. Our sponsors have been kind enough to furnish our employees with moble home campers and we have set up a make shift community for our purpose here.

Getting the Boxed Wine Buzz Out in The Big Easy...

Greetings Voignier and Kind monitors of our progress,

We have had a rather protracted stay in the Big Easy, if you will. Our days have been spent organizing and executing one of the largest "word-of-mouth" advertising campaigns we have ever been engaged to conduct. This is the result of a very old contact referring our writings to a leading box manufacturer in the mid-west, who called us after reviewing several of our studies in boxed wine.

What began as "just us two girls talking", if you will, because a fast friendship and business partnership which has given us a vastly larger budget to conduct our marketing maneuvers across North America, and Parts of Chile on behalf of our clients and the Boxed Wine Association of North America and Parts of Chile. It turns out that our new client is a rather avid boatsmen, which gave us many interests in common, both firm in the conviction that boat ownership is a glorious, if losing proposition, not unlike owning a proverbial hole in the water where we owners must pour our money in order to remain afloat, if you will.

In short, we are delighted by this new business purpose, and needless to say, so are our friends who reside at The Riverside Park, who have been migrating down to New Orleans over these past two weeks. Almost the entire market research team that works for us at the 79th Street Boat Basin in Manhattan has made it, and several new faces have shown up in the hopes that they can "shape the job", as they put it. Many have come by train, but most have either hitched rides along the interstate highway system, or taken the bus, where they were able to scrape of the funds, as it were.


For our part, we are not fan of the free labor model of business (as in work for free in the hope of getting paid after you get a job offer), or those that would allow their employees to audition, or "to shape the job", if you will. Rather, we insist that everyone be paid something of fair value, either it be money, goods or services, which is not problem for us with the amount of boxed wine our clients have provided for our two ongoing road shows. We are no fans of the internship of the American work force, if you will, where over-educated applicants fresh out of college are forced to volunteer to staple and stamp as they audition for a real job. This trend is also a pet point of contention for Dr. Emily's, who has asserted that she would like to see a study showing the correlation breast size and attrition to full time jobs under such conditions. And so, we pay everyone who has come down to New Orleans for work for our new buzz marketing business unit on that we have entitled, Operation Push Strings, or "P.S." if you will.

We believe it is contrary to the better angels of the so called America way to use interns or volunteers to generate income for our clients. Doubtless, America was build on untold hours of free labor in the form of slave wages over the centuries, and to deny the 40 acres and mule economy that came before us would be denying the rather gigantic elephant laying dung in the center of the room. Nevertheless, we have no desire to honor that American tradition that would amount to us bring back the bad old days of indentured servitude and slave wages. And so, everyone on our modest ship of fools is paid according to their contribution to our boxed wine marketing efforts...

Our new Buzz Marketing division is has been in operation for just over 1 week now, with a strategy that focuses on word or mouth testimonials in New Orleans area bars, restaurants and in some cases, people's homes, where folks allow us to hold Boxed Wine parties in their homes the way tupperware or Mary Kay cosmetics are distributed. We however, do not try to sell anything, but instead aim to provide kind words about the products that have ponied you the funds to allow us to do Bacchus; work for him, if you will.

Most of our workers are happy to be in a warm place, having spent November and December "camping" in The Riverside Park, and without morning breakfast and hot coffee prepared by Dr. Emily each day, as it is when we hold court at the boat basin for the warm months. They also appear happy with the compensation, including free wine, "undercover" clothing, ample food and a warm bed each night. We have taken over an entire public campground just outside the city. Operation Pushing String is well underway, in the wake of the Bush visit to New Orleans, where he sat beside the mayor, who put us in mind of a cat with a turpentine ass, as they say. We expect there is no shortage of bad blood between the folks who suffered the wrath of Katrina, and I do not think it is reading into the situation to say, Bush's visit appeared to be going as smoothly as say, a clam bake at a Kosher Butcher's convention (okay, I'll stop) And so, the George Bush we witnessed, as we spread out across the Big Easy spreading good faith for Boxed Wines, seemed as busy as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest, if you will (sorry, last time).

In the wake of the Bush visit, we are having a pretty easy time working with the folks who have been drawn to the bar scene and restaurants. Many appear to be repeating the same thing over and over to us, and a quick eyeball analysis of the word frequency study we are putting together from our worker's notes and taped responses to our Buzz work shows the same 5 words coming up again and again in the same combination (over 84% of the time): "I could use a drink". This phrase is often (59% of the time) preceded by a "great", "cool", "Awesome", "outstanding" and two cases of "yer shittin me?".

We shall be starting a Boxed Wine Message Board, in the near future and are seeking a web manager to help run this project, one who would not mind being paid in boxed blends.